WHERE ARE YOU GOD ?
These last couple of months have been some of the most trying in my entire life.
God has challenged me to see if my words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart are pure, I have even questioned myself.
God gave the gift of Melinda Relifords' daughter Melinda to me to raise in the might and spirit of him, against everything that was in me I gave in to this call. It has not been easy.
From the moment of her birth until her Mom's death, in 2009 I shared this responsibility with numerous individuals. Then one day it was just her, I and GOD.
She's a beauty. Seventeen, so much potential, energy, love and at the same time anger, growing pains and self discovery.
Within the last two months Melinda has ran away, become pregnant, terminated the pregnancy, ran away again, quit school, gone back to a place of darkness and strongholds where she was molested, that at one time was familiar to her, but I know the GRACE and PLAN of GOD has better for her. I have not talked to her in three weeks. It's been hard to sleep and eat, hard to pray, hard to trust anyone with a conversation about her.
I have searched myself over and over again, where did I drop the ball ?, what did I not see?, I know that she was missing her Mom, but she talked about it all the time, she was a free spirit not closed mouth like some youth, expressed herself at will and against it at times. She had ever advantage for success.
So what happened ?, I don't know. Who turned off the light ?, maybe I did, I'm still wondering.
What I do know is that as I'm writing this I'm becoming free, Free from the quilt of all of what life will sometimes send our way, Free from what I thought was wise counsel, Free from those who only gave lip service that they would be there in a time of need, Free from backbiters, Free from secret keepers, Free from naysayers and the gossipers that look me in the face on a regular and tell me that they LOVE me and my granddaughter.
What I am seeing is that GOD IS HERE!
Once I moved the Cloud of Judgement that I had allowed to move in with me, I saw GOD all around me.
His image, strength, wisdom, power, will, plan for my life, and yes maybe even Melinda's life.
His image, strength, wisdom, power, will, plan for my life, and yes maybe even Melinda's life.
I am learning that MY GOD is omnipresent, even in my night seasons and shall supply all my needs, that includes direction and guidance, and the removal of all darkness.
I know where GOD is, right here, carrying me every step of the way !
Minister LaDonna J.
